Mom, my best friend, my joy, and “girlfriend,” as my sisters would gossip about. Ike and I cried our eyes out when you left us in Nigeria for the United States in 1984. We cried every time you came to visit and go back. We cried all thru the years while we were not with you. Again, we are crying about your untimely departure and will forever cry. I’ve asked God, why our family has to cry this much. This time it’s not only us, but your departure also impacted many and they are crying as well.
As a teen, we didn’t get along well and I regret all the headaches I caused you. But as the greatest mom, you kept loving, shielding, providing, and guiding. Our relationship blossomed in my twenties and got greater in my thirties. You were my biggest encourager, advocate, and cheerleader. I lived for you and did everything to impress you. So many dreams, goals, and plans of what life would be like after your retirement – it hurts. No measurement tool or device can measure this pain, because the weight is too much. How could you leave me this early?
I bragged about you. My friends that have met you and the ones that didn’t know you, because most of them have heard about you and ate the foods you used to cook for me. I bragged about your Thanksgiving stuffing being the best and then you started making it regularly. You learned I love abacha (African salad), and you learned how to make it and started making it for me. We, your kids argue about who you cooked more for; I still believe I was your favorite – no matter what jealousy makes Ike, Peace, Kristine, and Victoria say. You went out of your way to take care of us, and it was almost time for us to take care of you, you left. How I wish I can still buy you the perfumes as usual or meet up with you at China Buffets that you liked.
You were a great teacher, and a great nurse, and education mattered a lot to you. I will miss new videos of you teaching your grandkids how to read, speak, and count in the Igbo language. I wish we could play family card and board games one more time. You were very engaging and fun to play with or against. An awesome team player.
Your faith in God and service to God were unquestionable. You always prayed and rubbed small crosses at the door and windows at my house sometimes when you visited. The last two Mother’s Days, we asked you what you wanted to do to celebrate and all you wanted was for all of us to attend Sunday service with you at your church. Being close to God was very important to you and you always challenged us to do the same.
You helped everyone in any way you could; no one was off your list. You gave, you showed up, and participated. You would call and check on me when I traveled internationally. I remember many years ago missing my flight in Indonesia, I called you, and you gave me a calling card to use for calling the airline company in the US. Your departure from this earth will forever be felt. I’ve been told many times that God wanted you back and that he knows best, but then I ask, why does he need you more than us? Why did he not make a copy of you and keep to himself and leave you to us?
Nevertheless, I know you are in a better place, where there is no more pain, no more worrying, no more traffic, no more cooking, no more cleaning, and no more working. Thanks for giving me four amazing and loving siblings. It is going to be tough, but we will try. We are missing you and will miss you forever. Till we meet again. Rest in perfect peace. Goodbye, mom (girlfriend)!
So lost without you! – Stanley Okwukwe Akanu
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